Left in the dust

It has been a LONG time since my last entry. A bunch has happened. We had a wonderful vacation in Indiana. A luxurious 11 days. We spent 3 days traveling by train there and back. It was wonderful to relax and not do much of anything but play Game Boy, eat and take naps. I was initially disappointed that Aunt Flo was still visiting when we left for the trip. She stayed the whole train trip up there. But I later realized that if she had arrived any earlier we probably would have missed our ovulation window. It is very hard to BD in the middle of your father’s living room. :o) Sure made for a great time on the train on the way home, though. ;o)
I have a bassinet in our “nursery” now. I really like it. It is a nice and wide deluxe model that probably cost $150. I worked a few extra nights for it, so it cost me nothing but a little time.
I remember mentioning in one of my first entries another woman who started a preconception journal the same month as me. Well, she found out she was pregnant today. And, of course, I burst into tears. I am happy for her, but it seems like Darrell and I have been “trying” for a long time now. I feel like I’ve been passed up and left in the dust. I am tearing up just thinking of it. But I hope she has a wonderful pregnancy and a beautiful baby.
I am on cycle day 21. I think I will ovulate real soon. I was pretty dry yesterday. Today, I had wet CM and it stretched a bit too. It was also clear. Is it possible to skip the cloudy part? Maybe it just came and went faster than usual and I missed it. We covered both today and yesterday so I am hopeful that we will succeed this month.
I think my boss really worries about what will happen when I am pregnant. She told me yesterday that she had a dream that I came back from vacation and told her I was pregnant. Maybe it was just her way of questioning me if I was or not. I told her I wasn’t pregnant. If this “trying to conceive” phase of my life goes on much longer, I may seriously regret telling some people what we are up to. I guess I feel more pressured to perform. I guess that’s why I cried when I found out that Julie (from the other website) is pregnant.
Big sigh. I wish… I wish… I wish….

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