Telling Darrell’s parents

C #13, CD #16. I have been spotting the past several days. I have high hope for getting our ducks all in a row and doing the IUI next cycle. I am glad we are skipping unlucky cycle 13!
We just got back from a fabulous vacation to Kinder, New Orleans and Biloxi! We gambled and toured the French Quarter and saw an awesome performance of “Stomp!”—that group of musicians that plays superb music with everyday household items such as trash cans, brooms, and kitchen sinks. They were FABULOUS and the highlight of our trip! We also dined at the Café du Monde 3 times and ate at Emeril’s Nola restaurant. It was fantastic, but very expensive!
The only hard part of our trip was that we decided to tell Darrell’s parents of the whole azospermia/ donor insemination mess we are in when we met up with them in New Orleans & Biloxi. I told Darrell’s Dad, Gene, when I happened to get the opportunity to ride in his truck alone with him. He was saddened but very accepting and immediately told me he supported us in whatever we chose to do. A very calm conversation, amazingly enough. We didn’t get to tell Darrell’s Mom, Waynell, until the next day, right before we parted ways again. We all gathered around her in our hotel room and told the “gentle version” that we had spent a long time preparing for her. After she got the facts down, she seemed to do okay with the news. Her first statement after all this was, “why don’t y’all just adopt a baby?” That hurt me, I must admit—like I didn’t deserve the child to be “mine” after all this trouble. But I calmly told her this was much cheaper and we at least wanted some of my genes in the child and I really wanted to experience pregnancy. A few minutes later, I saw her go into the restroom and close the door. I knew then that she was trying to compose herself. After she came out a few minutes later, I went in to clean up the stuff we had left in the bathroom. I came out a few minutes later and apparently interrupted a serious conversation between her and Darrell. He shooed me away, so I went back into the bathroom and puttered around for a few more minutes. It wasn’t long before I heard her sobbing loudly. So I quietly left the bathroom and crept out the door. I went for a walk around the hotel’s pool and lounged down there for awhile. When I decided enough time had passed, I went back up and knocked softly on the door. Darrell answered with apparent relief. He told me he thought I was halfway back home by now and was worried that I was mad at him for shooing me away! None of them had seen me leave!
Waynell wouldn’t look straight at me for a few hours and I later found out that she told Darrell that she thought he should exhaust all options before doing something like this (remember, we gave her the gentle version). I could tell she was upset with me for supposedly pressuring Darrell into a “drastic” method just so I could get pregnant quickly. Gene knows the real version of events and I bet they discuss this all the way home.
We decided to tell them this news because we need support from them. What if the baby comes out looking nothing like either of us (a current fear of mine- despite photo matching opportunities)? And we didn’t feel it was fair to them to let them think we were passing on the family genes. I don’t think we’ll ever tell my family. I don’t believe they need to know. At this point anyway. I hope we get that support from Darrell’s Mom. She has wanted a grandchild for so long… I hope she accepts ours like it was biologically part of both of us.
How am I taking this? I think I’ve come to terms with it all. If this is what it takes for us to conceive- I am there! Darrell is coming around too. We discuss this a little everyday and he hasn’t clammed up yet—what a guy! And just think, at this time last year, he would only grudgingly admit that he even wanted a baby. We’ve come a long way.
Here are a few pictures from our trip. The first two are Darrell and I at Nola’s. I had been told that this was Emeril’s more casual restaurant- NOT!!! Yes, we are underdressed. The last picture is of Gene and Waynell at the Café du Monde in New Orleans. The beignets there rock!!!

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