The cycle in which I know nothing and apparently nobody else does either

What an ODD day. My clinic tells me every single time I have to come in on a Saturday to arrive promptly at 7:30 because if no one shows up, they leave. I’ve been many times on Saturdays, once caught them walking at the door at 7:52! Almost always I am their only patient (because any appt that can be is scheduled during the week) but there might be one other person or couple.
The oddities began yesterday with them calling and making me prepay for the IUI… never had that before. Then there was the building security guard… a highstrung gal, her first day on the job. She asked us if we had access cards (huh?!). She would not let us in the building, nor the other couple. Grrrreat. We were a bit early so we waited a bit then called the office and let them know. The security gal also called and demanded that a doctor or nurse come down and escort us. Another girl arrived and gave the security guard (who is already tightly wound and chain smoking) HECK. Finally my bleary eyed dr came down and escorted us up.
I’m the only one with an official appt since they knew I was coming- because I trigger my ovulation with an injection- so she tells us to sit while they get ready and get the others to sign in. Meanwhile, 6 other couples arrive (and at least 2 of them would NOT have made it had it been any other Saturday)!!! 1 doctor, 1 doctor in training, 1 nurse and 8 waiting couples!
The doctor in training did my last ultrasound and really bumbled around, not to mention pushed hard on my uterus several times. After about 10 minutes the usual attending dr took over because she just couldn’t find my ovary. She obviously was either pretty bad at or new at ultrasounds. Grrreat!
Finally we get called back and I get in IUI position. DH and I give each other *the look* as Dr Noob preps for the IUI. I ask if this is her first IUI… and she answers in her bumbly fashion, that no, she’s done some… uh… at the “institution” she previously worked for. Hah! Liar! Maybe a practice one on a dummy in med school! She didn’t even know how to push the plunger! Grrreat! Thank God it wasn’t her first time with a speculum! She ended the IUI with “you might bleed some”. Grrreat! Sure enough, still spotting 14 hours later.
While lying there, waiting out the 10 minutes post-IUI on my back, the regular dr comes to report the semen “numbers” to me… and I can tell she’s not happy. Turns out it’s the freaking lab tech’s FIRST DAY ON THE JOB and he had been told that anonymous donor samples don’t need to be counted!!! ACK! Oh yes they do because if there aren’t at least 10 million moving sperm, I get my $360 back! She set him straight for the future.
We high-tailed it out of there, get in the car and what song is on? “Come As You Are” by Nirvana- and the album cover has sperm on it!! We laughed.
And remember, I haven’t had an ultrasound in 5 days… so I have NO IDEA how many good follicles I have. The large one on the right might be over mature or fine, the tinies on the left might have fizzled out, not grown enough or barely squeaked within range. Who knows?!
Aiiieeee. The only good I can make of it all is perhaps all this bad luck happened to counteract all the good luck required for a lil miracle.
Edited to add: While waiting, I got to talking with a very excited woman. This was her 3rd cycle- hasn’t had a period since the late 80’s- first 2 cycles she attempted were on Clomid and were a bust. No mature follicles. This cycle was her first time on Femara and she was the proud owner of 4 positive OPK sticks- probably her first ever ovulation was about to occur. She was BEAMING. She confided in me that this was the last of her insurance fertility coverage and that they were too poor to pay out of pocket so this really had to work.
Once we got settled in the waiting room, her DH gets called back to do his “thing”. He’s obviously nervous- it’s the first time he’s been called to perform. He comes back a bit later and I think nothing of it.
Then IT happens. The one thing my husband said would have horrified him had he been asked it (when he did a semen analysis way back when). The man’s name was called out and he looked at his wife funny, but got up and followed the nurse back. He came back a minute later beet red. I heard him explain to his wife (I was sitting 2 feet from them) that someone (can we say Dr Noob or perhaps Noob Tech?!) pointed to his specimen cup and asked him if that was all of it!!! OMG! What do you say to that? “Sorry, I didn’t know you wanted all of it up front, I saved some here in my pocket for later?” OF COURSE IT WAS ALL OF IT THE POOR MAN WAS SOOOO NERVOUS!
That poor girl & her ONE shot & her husband has a bad time of it. Waaaaah!

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