Pacifier-free.

We decided on the way up to the in-laws’ house that since Brendan would be sleeping with us for the 6 days, it was the perfect time to take away the pacifier.
Night one was hard emotionally. We got all ready for bed, gave him his bear, turned off the lights and laid down. Tick. Tick. Out of the night comes “Where Cibah (his name for pacifier)?”
I replied a simple, “All gone. Pacifier all gone.” He cried for about 10 seconds and repeated this question a couple times receiving the answer. He’d do his 10 second cry.
Then he asked, “Where go?” a few times. I answered, “Pacifeier went bye bye. All gone.” He cried a little more. I swear, I could hear the cogs turning in his head- maybe she doesn’t understand me??
He tried again with, “Cibah. Where at?” So I thought I’d try to give himself more than just they are gone. I told him, “Pacifiers went bye bye to the baby.” I repeated it a few times. He did a final 10 second cry and let out a mournful “Pacibah…baby.” And that was it. He didn’t ask for it again the rest of the 6 day trip.
What did happen, and totally understandable, was that Brendan didn’t know how to fall asleep anymore. His old method was to suck on the pacifier and stroke the ties on his bear. Well, in anger or frustration, he also refused the bear those nights. He’d just lay there and wiggle and roll over for anywhere from half an hour to 2 hours before he finally sucumbed to sleep from exhaustion. That was hard to deal with every night and every afternoon as well but I am glad we didn’t make him go through his first nights alone.
We finally got home last night. Being in familiar territory resurrected a few pacifier questions but he finally accepted his bear. He did not like being left in his room though. He cried for probably half an hour total with us coming in to calm him down twice before falling asleep. He woke up crying 3 hours early this morning and Darrell brought him in to finish sleeping with me. I think the hard part is behind us. He just needs to learn a new way to put himself to sleep.
It was emotionally hard but easier than I expected. Will I give the next baby a pacifier? Absolutely!