Today was a pretty good day at work. Sam was in an awfully good mood. Isn’t that a funny expression?! He was so adorable. I love how he says “NaNa!” for banana and “NiNi!” for Night-Night. He just learned those two a day or two ago. Days like these make me feel good about trying to have a baby. Then, there are days like yesterday. A very long day coupled with some baby tantrums (read: screaming at the top of his lungs and thrashing wildly) makes me doubt my decision. Sometimes I doubt myself even on a relatively good day. I also worry about the money stuff. I REALLY want to stay home and be a housewife. Go to playgroups and stuff. Lillian, Sam and I tried out Gymboree last Friday. Boy, was that fun!! Sam loved it. There was so much stuff to play on and so many interesting mothers and kids. My favorite thing was parachute time. I have bad days, but mostly, I just plain can’t wait to do stuff like this with my own child!!!
Well, my period was very light and short this time. Six days is strange for me. Usually I am 7 or 8 days, sometimes even 9. It seemed to be all old blood too. Dark, none of it was really red. Makes me wonder if maybe, possibly, I am pregnant. Then I tell myself, “Yeah, right! Give it up! You had a period—move on to the next cycle Jen!” I am 95% sure I am not but if I am pregnant, the blood would probably signal that something went wrong. I think I bled too much and too long for implantation bleeding. Well, maybe I’ll test one day soon and see anyway. I need to have some tests around anyway. I wanted to take ibuprofen the other day because my back was giving me some trouble. But I wasn’t quite sure enough about my period to take it. Also, my biggest worry, is that I still get cramps. Days after my period stopped. I know that isn’t right, but no way is any baby big enough to stretch me out enough to feel it!!! Unless I am growing Super-Baby!!!