Bren being cute.

Bren being smart- he can use this little mouse totally by himself, clicking and all.

A sample tomato harvest in June. We get this many about every 4 or 5 days.

We finished the guest room with the exception of something to hang on the wall over the bed. It’s looks bare there. I did a large painting on the wall over the dresser. It matches the sheets perfectly. 😀 A year from now, I hope this room is a nursery!!!


And I’ll end with a beautiful face shot.

“Googlism.com will find out what Google thinks of you, your friends or anything!”
Of course, TTC (trying to conceive) is on my mind. This is what Google thinks of TTC:
ttc is on the second floor of the engineering annex building
ttc is washable
ttc is looking at “major troubles” if capital funding for vehicles doesn’t come through
ttc is a quality statewide network that offers employees broad physician access and first class service
ttc is proposing to add another 7
ttc is an old and standard taoist system of practice
ttc is responsible for the operation of streetcars
ttc is the longest established tramping club in wellington
ttc is certified by the woman’s business enterprise national council
ttc is approved for all
ttc is in beta launch
ttc is a work in progress; they are still ironing out details
Then there is the wickedly wonderful
ttc is a short walk next door to the polynesian which gives you quick access
and finally…
ttc is ready to rock- Oh, yeah!!! 😉

I was getting ready to play Runescape (my new love) and the computer was on the loading screen with 2 animated fires on it. Brendan toddled over, as toddlers do, and asked “What’s that?” and pointed to the screen. I replied, “Fire. Don’t touch- it’s hot” just like I do at his grandparents’ house with their real fire. He looked at me seriously, considering it, and then busted up laughing. I was so impressed that he “got” it.
So then we had to repeatedly touch them and yank our hands back while yelling “OUCH!” Toddlers are so funny.

TMI ahead. Told here in hopes of helping another women having breastfeeding difficulties.
I had real problems breastfeeding Brendan because of the one-two combo of him having the tied tongue and me having flat nipples. 1 of those would make newborn BFing challenging but both made it impossible. Even the lactation consultants flatly told me that he just wasn’t able to latch on at that time. So in order to better serve (haha) my next child, I have been researching what I can do to make it work this time.
I tortured myself with a new BFing book back when Bren was still an infant. It discussed flat nipples and the remedy was to wear nipple shell (not to be confused with shield) while pregnant. A nipple shell is a plastic dome that fits over your areola that holds the tissue surrounding your nipple in but leaves a hole around the nipple to let it, well, hang out. I can see how this would help but most probably the best time to use it is right before trying to get baby to latch on. Well, I bought them and tried them on yesterday. They are a bit awkward but do temporarily draw them out. I don’t know about permanently…
Also suggested was to pump the breast with a breastpump to draw out the nipple immediately before each feeding attempt. I knew that one but it seemed that I was always pumping and to drag out the electric pump everytime the baby was screaming… well, it didn’t happen. Not only that, but I no longer own that pump.
So last week I went online and researched pumps. I still want the whisper wear hands free pump (I think I am a pump junkie) but I went ahead and won an Avent Isis manual pump ($23 factory sealed!!!) on Ebay. I’ve have heard great things about it (Please share your opinion of it and whether or not you could use 2 at one time, I’m curious!) and I think I could use it not only to do normal pumping for an occassional bottle but it’d be easier to bring out for the 1 minute draw the nipple out pumping. It’d be easy enough to pump one side while feeding with the other too because in the end it was supply that did our BFing in.
Anyway… so I won the pump and can’t wait to get it in the mail and check it out. I then checked out the Avent websites and came across something called a Niplette. Sure enough, it is a thimble-like device that you attach to your nipple and create a little vaccuum with to extend your nipple. It makes your body create additional nipple tisue to keep it extended. You wear it 8 hours per day and you have “new” nipples in 1 to 3 months. I’d think it a quack but it is doctor invented and sold by Avent. Supposedly it has helped 150,000+ women with very few returns. The drawback- it’s $62 after shipping!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh. For a stinking ounce of molded plastic! I’ll find the money though and it has to be NOW since you are supposed to use it before you get pg. So you get to look forward to Tales from the Torture Chamber really soon. Heh.
I am going to have a Supplemental Nursing System on hand so if I do have to supplement, it’ll be by breast, plus this time I plan to birth at home and avoid the whole hospital scene. The midwife I will probably go with is also a La Leche leader and personal at-home breastfeeding support is included in the fees.

Well, what I feared happened. Bren found a pacifier yesterday afternoon. I swear he hides them everywhere, it was just a matter of time. I took it away but it spelled DOOM for our Cold Turkey method. He started asking for it but I maintained my story that they went bye bye to the baby and were all gone. I don’t think he believed me. 🙁 Would you?
He didn’t go to sleep at nap time and had red swollen eyes by bed time. He still screamed until 1:00 when I went and got him and made him a pallet beside my bed. He was asleep before he hit the pillow. I wouldn’t have given in so entirely except that DH really needed to go to sleep since he had to get up early.
Sigh. It’s not over yet.

I see the Reproductive Endocrinologist at 10:00 am on Tuesday, October 4th!!! Yay- an actual day to count down to! I also have my annual with my gyn that afternoon. Whadda day it’s going to be! I am so excited! 😀
This past month I went down to taking 1 of the 3 metformin pills daily to save the money. The rx costs $75!!! I found out Wal-Mart only charges $51 though so I switched over. But I screwed up my monthly cycle- 1 pill is obviously not enough to make me ovulate. Even though AF started yesterday, I can feel a huge egg in my left ovary.
Of course, AF had to come on the 1st of the month. I am going to stick with 1 pill this next month in hopes that AF will be delayed several days again and put me after the 4th of the month. Can’t be having a pap on my period!!!
Just 4 months and 2 days to go!

We decided on the way up to the in-laws’ house that since Brendan would be sleeping with us for the 6 days, it was the perfect time to take away the pacifier.
Night one was hard emotionally. We got all ready for bed, gave him his bear, turned off the lights and laid down. Tick. Tick. Out of the night comes “Where Cibah (his name for pacifier)?”
I replied a simple, “All gone. Pacifier all gone.” He cried for about 10 seconds and repeated this question a couple times receiving the answer. He’d do his 10 second cry.
Then he asked, “Where go?” a few times. I answered, “Pacifeier went bye bye. All gone.” He cried a little more. I swear, I could hear the cogs turning in his head- maybe she doesn’t understand me??
He tried again with, “Cibah. Where at?” So I thought I’d try to give himself more than just they are gone. I told him, “Pacifiers went bye bye to the baby.” I repeated it a few times. He did a final 10 second cry and let out a mournful “Pacibah…baby.” And that was it. He didn’t ask for it again the rest of the 6 day trip.
What did happen, and totally understandable, was that Brendan didn’t know how to fall asleep anymore. His old method was to suck on the pacifier and stroke the ties on his bear. Well, in anger or frustration, he also refused the bear those nights. He’d just lay there and wiggle and roll over for anywhere from half an hour to 2 hours before he finally sucumbed to sleep from exhaustion. That was hard to deal with every night and every afternoon as well but I am glad we didn’t make him go through his first nights alone.
We finally got home last night. Being in familiar territory resurrected a few pacifier questions but he finally accepted his bear. He did not like being left in his room though. He cried for probably half an hour total with us coming in to calm him down twice before falling asleep. He woke up crying 3 hours early this morning and Darrell brought him in to finish sleeping with me. I think the hard part is behind us. He just needs to learn a new way to put himself to sleep.
It was emotionally hard but easier than I expected. Will I give the next baby a pacifier? Absolutely!