We got the results of the Semen Analysis back, on Valentine’s Day of all days. The results were as bad as they could get—basically nothing. It seems that my husband’s “gun” is not shooting bullets (sperm) and even not shooting blanks (dead sperm). As my doctor put it, “there just isn’t anything there.” A water gun.
You may ask: why is having a bunch of dead sperm much better than not having any? Isn’t the end result the same? Well, treatment-wise, having dead sperm means that something is killing them off, such as toxins, heat, illness, and infection— whatever. These are all things you can potentially change. My husband doesn’t seem to have a chance at all for easy treatment. When nothing is there, nothing is there.
My doctor referred us to a Reproductive Endocrinologist. Unfortunately, this RE is not in my insurance book. We don’t even know if we are covered for anything to do with infertility. We have to find out what we are covered for and then try to find out some stuff about the REs we get to choose from. Then, set up an appointment with this RE who will send my DH to an Urologist.
What causes azospermia (or no sperm) can be broken down into three categories.
1. Blockage- one of his tubes could be blocked. Possibly reparable with microsurgery.
2. Wrong direction- the sperm could travel up into the bladder instead. There are methods to collect the semen out of the bladder, but they really aren’t any fun. Trust me on this one.
3. No production- his parts just don’t make sperm. Only potentially fixable if this is hormone-related instead deformed organs.
Unless we get a miraculous cure, I am sure that at least IUI and probably IVF are in our future.
What am I feeling? Bad. Thoughts of surgeries and donor semen and injections fill my head. Seeing babies and my nursery and my pregnancy magazines hurt now like never before. Half of me wants to just give up. The other half knows I never will.

I am on cycle #10, day 14. I finally got a high reading on my fertility monitor. So, based on how many high readings I got last cycle before the peak, I imagine I’ll ovulate around Sunday—day 20. We’ll see how good my somewhat educated guess is. Looks like I have some resistance to Clomid—even up to 150mg. Just once, I’d like a day 14 ovulation!!
My hysterosalPINGogram (how the doctor who performed it pronounced it, I was emphasizing the SAL) went well. I laid down on a very hard glass and metal table. A big x-ray machine was perched over the middle of the table. It had actually broken earlier that day, so it was stuck in place over the table. It could go up and down a bit, but that was it. Made for some scrunching around to get under it, but no biggie. So I laid there and chatted with a really nice nurse. She asked me several questions (several times) and got a few of my answers wrong when she repeated the info to the dr, but she patted my leg during the difficult parts of the procedure, so I forgive her. :o)
After a few minutes of lying there, the doctor came in, introduced himself and shook my hand. He explained that he was going to open me up like during a Pap Smear and then insert a spaghetti-sized tube into my cervix. Then he was going to fill me with some dye and take x-rays. Everything went as planned. He found my cervix pretty smoothly. He said I might cramp as he inserted the dye, but I never felt the dye until it was coming back out. I found out later that the ones who hurt as the dye is going in are usually the ones with blockages. I did have a good cramping session in the middle of Costco an hour or so later. I had to sit on the floor for a while… dummy me should have gone straight home to bed. He had said to expect some spotting in the next several days because I might get scratched on my cervix or other delicate areas from the tube. He was right, I bled some immediately and I am still spotting today, 4 days later. I was amazed that after I was allowed off of the table, I didn’t leak any of the dye. It was supposed to be absorbed by my body, but I expected SOME to leak out! While the dye was in me I looked over my shoulder and could see (upside-down) a screen with my uterus and tubes on it. I could tell my uterus was the right shape instantly, but the screen was too far away to get a good look at my tubes. Today, I called my doctor’s office and was told that my HSG results came back fine. Relief!
Darrell did his Semen Analysis as planned. He said he almost put the cup in a Taco Cabana bag so he could joke about bringing tacos. :o) When I asked him if he produced more or less than he expected a man produces, he said less. I told him a funny story from an online book about one man thinking he was going to get his sample back marked “insufficient sample size.” I read online that it should have been 1 to 2 ml. How much is a ml anyway?? The nurse said she didn’t have the report back yet for this. I’ll probably get the results tomorrow. I need to know whether we should be BDing like monkeys or spacing them out.